My family and I have just spent a very enjoyable and relaxed weekend in Khao Yai. If you want to escape to nature in the mountains surrounded by stunning vegetation then this is the place to come.

Khao Yai is a 3-hour drive North East of the Capital and so is very popular with Bangkokians. We opted to camp and it was here we met three late twenty – early thirty-something Thai ladies who were also enjoying a weekend getaway too.

They were sitting outside their tent just next to us on Saturday evening and we got chatting. One of the girls asked if my wife and I wanted to join them for a drink, which we accepted.

The girls had come prepared with plenty of food and drink, which included – a little to my surprise – lots of alcohol from wine, cider, Malibu to even Tequila. My wife was in her element!

I could see my wife was taken back by the girl’s level of English and quality of conversation. She unfortunately has a little bit negative views of Thai women based on what she sees in Pattaya. Something I have told her is not reflective of Thai women in general, especially once you go to Bangkok.

The three girls were educated, attractive and had bundles of personality. My wife and I were being spoiled with food and drinks, in every aspect we were being treated to the warm Thai hospitality you often see here in Thailand.

The subject of boyfriends came up, my wife wanted to know where their partners were. None of the three girls had a boyfriend and explained it is almost impossible to find anyone decent.

All of the girls had been educated abroad and now had very good jobs in Bangkok. They said they did not want a Thai man as the family always got too involved in relationships – they also joked it was hard to find a straight decent Thai guy!

They all wanted a foreign boyfriend but said it is extremely difficult to find one in Bangkok. It surprised me somewhat is in Bangkok I know there is a younger expat demographic who work in the city. Why then is it so difficult to find a one?

The problem, they said, was meeting people now is often via apps like Tinder and Badoo. Here they are up against bar girls touting for business and also it was impossible to work out who are the good guys from those just looking for sex. Because there so many bar girls on these sites, they also get treated like the same, from the sex pest male just after one thing. “How much darling?” type comments are hardly the place decent, educated women want to go looking for a partner.

They made some good points about modern-day relationship hunting. Online relationship apps are based merely on physical attraction and look. How can anyone spot the person genuinely looking for a relationship and, I must add, a relationship with the right intentions? Plus when so much is based on just appearance, how can you spot the person with the same interests and outlooks as you?

These girls were not looking for a sugar daddy too. They wanted an equal partner. For foreigners many get sucked into the attraction of having a younger Thai girl, often from a bar, and immediately forfeit the ability to have quality and interesting conversation as the trade-off. Furthermore, however they want to dress it up, they end up paying for the relationship. I hear guys defend the monthly payment as no different to when a wife in the UK who gets the working husbands money to live. It is not the same and, in their guts, they know it.

Anyone whose relationship is first based on a transaction has to recognise the relationship is based on money and not a trusting, loving relationship. I have been there, got the T-Shirt, and so can speak from experience. I was never burnt financially as I wasn’t that careless – but I have certainly been in such relationships.

Expats also struggle to meet decent partners, so what is the solution?

I know so many single foreign friends in Thailand having the same issue as these three girls. They likewise cannot meet a decent Thai girlfriend. Where can they find such a lady? Both decent Thai women and foreigners are having the same issues!

I asked them if they have tried getting out into the bars and clubs to meet someone. Again they run into the same issues as they do on the websites and apps they have tried. They are competing with ‘bar girls’ and also find it impossible to find a man not just looking for a one-night stand type of thing.

If someone could work out the right solution is would pivot the market and push out the bar girls who end up with decent expat partners. Often, I know from speaking with other expats, they feel they have no other choice.

Expat men can meet educated, attractive Thai women who not only can speak excellent English but also can offer like-minded conversations. These women are out there and want to meet a foreign partner, but other women with lesser intentions muddy the options by playing in the same arenas.

It is a ridiculous current set up for many expats, with many paying an ‘allowance’ to their young, uneducated Thai partner who is in no way that perfect match for them. How can this be a compatible relationship to build from? It doesn’t have to be that way.

Thailand is such a wonderful country with beautiful, warm people. Wouldn’t it be just perfect if Expat men and Thai women could find more compatible, equal relationships too?

 

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