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Is Thailand After Your Money?
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Agree with all your comments….excellent summary. One comment I’d like to make on this topic, is that the Thai ladies also don’t acknowledge money or goods given in the past. Example, having known my Thai girlfriend around 10 years, and becoming fully retired 4 years ago, my available cash for her was reduced, because I needed to fund my retirement for the next 10-20 years. She didn’t agree with this (possibly because they regard all Farangs as rich!) and I could see her love for me diminishing, while criticism about being old and stupid started to increase. But my main point is this: in the early days, I funded a rebuild of the family home to the tune of around THB 2 million, and probably spent another million or so supporting her and the 3 teenage kids, including holidays. Whenever I mentioned this the past few years, she acted as though it didn’t happen and denied the amount was anywhere near what I said it was. She , and the 3 kids, also never showed much gratitude at the time, or since….I doubt that she even told them. But I know Thais are not used to thanking people, so no big deal on my part. Same goes for gifts such as rings, bracelets etc….immediately forgotten .So that’s my main comment….they don’t think of the past, as well as the future….just following the Buddha’s teaching I guess !
Congratulations on your 30,000 milestone..
Isn’t money #1 in most countries? I don’t know who thinks more about $ – rich people or poor.. it is a worldwide thing that people are consumed with money… not just Thai ladies.
As a farang husband I don’t see a ladder… this is only really an issue if you give the philosophical example of 2 people in a rushing river and your wife has 1 life
preserver to throw out… for my family, there simply is no ladder. Everyone is cared for by needs, not pecking order.
personally, I don’t need much help but as a family we help whoever is in need at that moment. the rare time I have needed help, my family is right there for me as I have been for them. Much more so than my Western family.
my wife is a saver – I urge her to spend more and enjoy. She “gets” saving for her future…
Your builder might have other reasons to have done the other job… maybe his friend has helped his family in ways you could never have and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad by telling you that you are not as important as his friend… so, he tells you it is abt a beer… Thai politeness dictates that maybe he would not want to say something to make you feel bad… speaking directly is not always the way things are done.
Contractors in the West are known for hooking one job and starting then going to another and coming back when convenient for them…
You mention Western analytics that you are trying to use to understand a very unique culture. you would not judge a steak for its sweetness as opposed to an orange.
Yes, there was a silly book years ago called money #1.
If I tried to explain your rating system to my wife she would probably just not get why there is a need to put in place a ranking system… if her father is sick, that would be #1 – if my niece has a problem at school, she would deal with that… w/o ranking who comes first… health issues come first, not determined by who is sick.
And maybe the pleasures of living in the moment, the day to day w/o much planning is a better way to live.
Less stressful. There are philosophies of life that stress ‘go with the flow’…
Sorry for rambling on… just my thoughts and experiences…
* 20 years living in a small farming village with a large farming family. And yes, speaking Thai helps to get a better understanding of the thought process and beautiful, unique, family oriented culture.
Interesting insight.